how can u be prego again
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
