Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
