a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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