So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
