porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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