I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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