are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
