I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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