Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
