There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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