On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
