i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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