I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
