I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
