so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
