if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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