Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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