Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
