i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
