I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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