apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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