i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Help. Why am I so naked?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
