Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
