I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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