That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
