Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
