Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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