Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
