I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
wow bdsm is so cute
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
