the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
