If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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