Betty ford says i'm here all night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
