he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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