i just had sex bonerless
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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