Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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