In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
True strength comes from lack of pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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