Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
