He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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