Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
