wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
