YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
