One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
