she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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