I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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