How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize