Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
