Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
