you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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