I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
