I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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