reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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