You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
