I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
