It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
