my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
40s are totally the cure
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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