I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
