im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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