so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
