Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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