i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
