some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
